When tears of canthus are still flowing quietly, I am really sad to think about what you said to me! Is that what I am in your eyes? In exchange for my three years of high school classmates, you said I used her! I dare you girls to make a shield to defend me, a little person with no height, no appearance and only a thin body! I’m really sad to live. I’ll only show off a little of my knowledge to talk about how much you like to narrow your gap. I shouldn’t make a high-profile statement about how much I like to excel in the whole world with you.! I shouldn’t have approached your world without restraint, which can’t tolerate any jokes, to disturb the peace you should have had in your life. I don’t deserve to be a great friend of yours, because I have a purpose to be your friend. I will take you as a stepping stone to pick the stars in the sky and give them to others..     Yes, a boy can’t be good to a group of girls, or he will be said to be very happy, or someone will pour jealousy into your life, making your natural life sour.. A good boy can’t be good to a large group of girls, and a good boy can only keep his mimosa in the middle of the cold shoulder and can’t have the smile of other girls.! A good boy can’t be shy and sad in the face of the person he likes, deliberately talking and laughing loudly with other girls in front of each other.     The sky was deeply touched by your words. I was so moved that I forgot to dry my tears.. I am very grateful to you for picking out my false face and making me happy and unable to find a landing. I am very grateful to you for making me no longer so childish. Yes, I was really naive. Why should I make a fool of myself and share my story with you repeatedly, and cheat you to say that I am very humorous and say how boy I am, and know how bad I am and how responsible I am to be in front of you to win your sympathy.. I’m too pushy, really! I was born very sad. I don’t deserve to have my own right person. I only deserve to be a Xiao Mao puppy. Who told me to be so delicious that eating you wasn’t enough to count on her.     Yeah! Who called me unruly! I’m a bad boy! I entered the third-rate university with an incomparable score with you and boasted that I was tired and hard – working. I even made a mistake when I wrote down my mood in my talk.. I’m really easy! I am easily seen through by you, easily told I am good or bad by you, hated by you, scolded by you and ignored by you.! I should not fly my dream in spring, I should only be frozen in winter, I should not take out new leaves in summer, I should only fade slowly in autumn..     I’m not as good as you think. I can’t reach the height of the person you think about.. If I hurt your best friend one evening, I’m willing to say 10,000 sorry to your friend. If 10,000 is not enough, you can mock me in the most contemptuous way.!     I haven’t had a relationship in recent years. I always write down her appearance in the oldest way in my diary I don’t know how many times, and I will secretly smile.! Because I also started to have people I like. But many things in the world are so accidental that they happen inadvertently. I’ll be happy to talk and laugh with you and your friends every night, and then with my humble beginnings, you begin to think I’m interested in your friends. Then you began to make fun of me every day, and I also laughed foolishly.. When I took your friend’s snacks, when I wrote a small note with your friend, when I took pictures with your friend, when I happily went to play supper with your friend’s meal card, when I had lunch in the classroom and chatted with your friend, when you talked nonsense again, when your friend comforted me and when you took a book to make fun of me, my tragedy today was thus staged.. You scold me on the other side of the computer. I stood on the other side of the phone and asked why. Then I saw myself crying, and then I found myself really wrong. I was too naive!     You shouldn’t approach your fairy tale world, because I am not your prince charming. I have made your beautiful fairy tale world so desolate. I shouldn’t have participated in your life. I should have drifted far away when I was sailing. Then you can’t hear your voice in the distance and you can’t see my untidy back. We each follow our own path, without intersection. But the distance was empty, and the sailing ship couldn’t find the place it wanted to reach, and then moored at random, and the ships met occasionally.. But a ship such as Titanic hit an iceberg, once beautiful only once!     I really don’t know why you scold me like this today. Yes, I understand that you are a straight-hearted girl and you have your own elegance, but I really don’t understand that you are going to put the vitriolic words into my heart so much.. Have you ever been hurt! Oh, by the way, you were cheated by boys? You hate boys being too insincere, but you can’t be too extreme! You can’t deny that I sincerely get along with you and your friends in the name of my friends! You can’t punish me for my mistake because of my childish behavior. I totally deny me! Do I really have such hypocrisy?     I was originally a heartache lover. Although I was generous and tolerant, I was also sometimes very vulnerable. To be honest, I couldn’t even touch myself, let alone you.. If I’m really wrong, you can tell me well and not export so hard. That’s how you treat boys? If that boy is not bad, have you ever thought that you would make that boy feel inferior and sad!Do you always look at me as not pleasing to the eye?? I admit that I’m not full of flowers in front of you, and I can’t attract your attention.. I will only make you so angry.     Friend, hehe! I really don’t understand whether I curry favor with you or that friend of yours. Do you know that it will make me disappear from your world? It’s not easy to have same-sex friends alone, and it’s not easy to have opposite-sex friends.! In your friend’s view, just don’t you allow your friend to make a mistake? Besides, did you dare to conclude that your friend really cheated you? Can’t you hold half a grain of sand in your friend’s view? If so, I really feel sad because I am the half a grain of sand! If a person says it is very acceptable in front of his friends, are you going too far! Friend is wrong, also not so cruel! Oh, it turns out that you never regard me as a friend. But I have always been silly to treat you as a friend!     In our class, I have such a friend, a gay friend! I clearly remember a friend who beat me severely. He beat me at the entrance to the canteen in the blue sky with enough force to keep the news of the whole spring. To be honest, I really hated myself for being so naughty at that time. I grabbed his umbrella and ran in the wind and rain. He chased me angrily in the wind and rain. At first I thought he would not take it seriously to joke with him.. But when his slap hit me on the back of my head in such an instant and with such strength, I was silly. I was sad to throw the damn umbrella heavily on the ground, and then I ran like a drowned rat in the wind and rain..     Since then, I have ignored him. I hate him very much. I even want to kill him with a knife.. But I’m a man who never gives up his heart. When he spoke to me voluntarily in the clasp, I forgave him again. I forgot the bag that has been hurting my head for a week.. I never forget my friend’s momentary fault for his momentary kindness to me. Although I have many conflicts with those friends, people who are emotional animals are the ones who tie up their friend’s deep feelings in the conflicts. Today you hurt me to the extreme. I would rather you severely slap me in the face than listen to your bad voice, saying I am a mean person and saying I use my friend.!     I know not to take other people’s words to heart and go my own way to let others say them, but it is not ordinary people who hurt me, but friends I have always thought very much to talk to! I can’t hurt, you can’t hurt either! Your friend can’t afford to hurt either! If my friend’s I really have a bad place and I really hope your friend’s forgiveness, you don’t remember the bad of your friend now and then, you should always think about the good of your friend.! I also admit that I am a little straight to you, because I know you are also a straight man. I was wrong. Okay, I was wrong! That can only blame me for being childish!     This day woke up, not as usual, the whole portrait was paralyzed. Out of the window, the autumn wind, which tore its throat, dashed against the bedroom glass, howling and howling, and suddenly the feeling of pain hit me all over my body.. When I slowly put the cold little hand on my forehead, I didn’t realize that my head was really hot and I was ill? Yeah! I have been in poor health since I was a child. I was laid down on the front line like a soldier in a long illness field, but I was resurrected on the front line.. I often resent myself why I am not tall, why I am so thin, and why I am so weak.     I walked down the stairs with tired feet and went to class. The wind outside blew harder, pulling my thin clothes tightly. I shuddered in the wind, and the wind was more angry in my shudder.. But I did not accept my fate because I clearly understood that I came to school and I came to learn technology. I can’t lose my confidence because of the emotional trauma. I want to study hard. I want to learn medicine well. No matter how difficult the road ahead is and how tired I am, I can’t fall in such a small ditch, but I also want to fall in the next few decades.. No matter how the outside world strikes me, I will still fight back the pain and loneliness to do every lesson and do every extra-curricular thing well..     Speaking too, there are not many beautiful scenery in this school, but what impressed me most was the strong wind here. The school is located near the Ganjiang River. The water in the Ganjiang River is not very clear. The sound of running water rattles every wave.. Roll up the autumn waves, wet my eyes standing in the window again and again. I gently opened the window, and Jiang Feng squeezed in like a child who had been thirsty for a long time.. Blow up my hair, did not interpret the amorous feelings of a teenager.     Once upon a time, young people wrote many poems for the sake of love for their youth. After the beautiful and sad poems were stapled into volumes, they have been lying quietly in the closed bookcase.. I have not been read, sometimes what others see is only the one who stole out, and most of them are imprisoned by me, a sad person.. Because I don’t want others to see my sad face all the time, I want to show my humor and cheerful face to the world. Even if I can’t laugh at myself, I also want to laugh at my friends, my family and my classmates. This day is not as bad as I thought. At least I learned a lot. I didn’t lie on the table like a sick dog, staring straight at the clutter in my hands.. Although I felt very tired and tired on this day, I still didn’t show the pain in my heart and body in front of others. I just wrote these here and in the place where I dream. Since I am an easily injured child, I should learn my chosen major well. Although I can’t cure the mental pain, I can alleviate it by solving the physical pain..     Although I can’t give everyone a good look at the disease, I will do my utmost to give my life in my hands. This may be my sense of mission in my job, and this is the only point that I feel at ease after my injury..Besides, I can also express my feelings through my hobbies. Maybe my writing style is depressed, but my depression can better make me wake up and live better in the future.. Of course, a depressed person does not mean that he has lost confidence in life. The two cannot be equal. The same can only be said that those who lose confidence in life will be depressed.     I am so young and the road at my feet is so long, how can I lose my good yearning for life because of some sadness in my youth?? I’m just venting! Of course, my attitude to vent is too bad, because I am also very uncivilized. I used urgent words to hurt you and hurt myself with deadly feelings.. I am like a knife hand, killing you and myself at the same time. I hate myself very much for the reason that I love to bear grudges. I’m not very manly! I should have a good chat with you and your friends. Although it is not the best way to chat, at least we will not lose him or me, at least we are still very nostalgic..     The maple leaf was cut off by the autumn wind. Although the maple leaf is very sad, the maple leaf does not want to lose the autumn wind just like this, because the maple leaf will have to wait for the spring breeze to wake him up again next year.. Maple leaves still love autumn wind. Although they complain about each other, I believe they don’t want to lose each other in life. At least they came to this world together and got along with each other for that time..     When I write down these messy things, I am also out of nature. I don’t want to complain about your dissatisfaction with me in the form of words. I only hope you can feel your classmates when you browse word by word. I was hurt in front of you.! Injuries are not sins, but my frailty. Who called me childish! If we hadn’t approached at that time, maybe we wouldn’t have quarreled, but if we hadn’t approached, then we wouldn’t have so many good memories! In the depths of my memory, there are always a group of young boys and girls, whose wings gallop across the time I have never lost, but there will still be a group of sad people waiting for happiness in isolation.!     I can’t find it. Autumn is coming. I can’t stop the whole people when they encounter some unhappiness. It feels great to have to make some sad things to write about.. I really hate myself too. I hate that I can’t end it. I have to find someone else’s account again and let people all over the world know the same thing.! So sad!     I’m really disappointed with what I did. After all, you and I were classmates and friends.! Why do you make such a tragedy? Think it’s really not worth it. By the way, if you open my space at some impulsive moment and see these lost words I wrote, will you be very sad! I really don’t understand whether you bullied me or I bullied you! All I know is that I am hurting you with words now. After all, you and I are classmates and friends! Why do you make such a tragedy? Think it’s really not worth it.     By the way, if you open my space at some impulsive moment and see these lost words I wrote, will you be very sad! I really don’t understand whether you bullied me or I bullied you! All I know is that I am hurting you with words now. Of course, you are also likely to mock me again on an unclear day, and then I ask you why, you didn’t give me a reason, but just said that I was a mean person, and I gave your friend’s kindness to other girls and showed off how great I was.! I lay in bed with tears and read the story of tears wetting the pillow!     However, it is finally the day of the National Day Holiday. I don’t have to endure loneliness so much to live. I can sit on the train heading home and temporarily leave the sad place where all the injuries occurred on my head.. I spilled tears on the back, and when the sound of a long song rang, I believed that pain would go away from me and happiness would follow.. But when I wanted to get on the bus with my bag on my back, the driver said the bus was too full to fit! I was stupefied, and suddenly a burst of sadness ran into my heart. I reluctantly stepped out of the car, and the bag on my shoulder suddenly weighed a lot, crushing my whole body out of breath. I’m going to spend my sad night here again! I was furious to the extreme. So I shook my head vigorously on my way back and said I had failed!     I really didn’t know Nanchang was so cold in October, the autumn wind was blowing, the rain was misty, and the waves of slight cold pounded my heart. I didn’t fully recover from illness and suddenly coughed. Thinking about my recent disappointment, I really blame the world a bit.     Night, night without moonlight, pieces of golden light shuttling through the city night sky outside the window. I’ll watch you hurt and wait until the next morning!

When I walked down the steps with a stack of books out of the library, a familiar senior was coming right in front of me.. After three or two greetings, he pointed to the old man who had just passed me and said, That is Mr. Liu Naichang. I was quite surprised. I turned to the past and saw only a vague figure, a grey woolen cloth coat, a cap and an easy walk..     This is about outstretched years ago. At that time, Mr. Liu Naichang was already a well-known scholar specializing in the two Song literature, especially in the research of Li Qingzhao, Su Shi and Xin Qiji.. Unfortunately, I was unable to listen to Mr. Wang’s teachings. At that time, the teacher who taught us pre – Qin literature was Zhang Yuanxun, the modern literature was Bu Zhaolin and Zhou Haibo, the contemporary literature was Li Xinyu and Meng Meng Meng, and the history of literary thought was Wei Shaoxin … Ah, these masters are all well-known figures in the Quyuan, although their personalities are different, but their learning is praised by everyone.. As for Mr. Liu Naichang, to be honest, he really only heard his name and did not know his people..     The first contact with Mr. Liu Naichang was on a warm spring afternoon. I took the liberty of tapping the door three times, then stood nervously by the stairs with my hands crossed, nervously looking at some unfamiliar teachers who were hurrying down the stairs.. A distant relative from the provincial academy of social sciences has planned an extra-curricular book on poems and essays in middle schools. He is eager to find a well-known national poetry research expert to write the preface and naturally thinks of Mr. Liu Naichang.. Such a thing finally fell on me, and I was duty-bound but scared in my heart, fearing that Mr. Hu would reject it.. While I was sweating profusely, the door opened and gentle Liu came out. After Mr. Hu took me home and sat down, he carefully inquired about the reason for his visit.. When I spoke incoherently about what I had come for, my husband readily promised and agreed to limit it to one week. I turned to say goodbye. The gentle, smiling Mr. Liu kept sending me downstairs until he slowly turned up the stairs..     Later, it seems that he knew a lot. A week later, after sending the collected preface by express mail, I heaved a sigh of relief and felt glad that it had been done satisfactorily.. But the next morning, Mr. Liu Naichang found the Western Union classroom and anxiously told me that there were three changes, one of which was punctuation.! I was secretly surprised and could not help admiring Mr. Shi’s rigorous academic attitude.     Soon, because the literary club will invite some learned professors in the music garden to give lectures, naturally, they think of Mr. Liu again. After Mr. Zhang Yuanxun spoke in the Western Union classroom, Mr. Meng Meng gave a report at the university club, and then Mr. Wei Shaoxin gave a lecture in the north building of the library . Ah, Mr. Liu Naichang, who had already contacted him, suddenly heard that he had been transferred to the Faculty of Arts of Shandong University, which made me feel a little disappointed for a long time..     In recent years, he has written several character essays along the development of literature and tried to write a few times to describe Li Qingzhao, the talented woman who’ walked with shame but smelt her childhood friends’, but he hesitated repeatedly and was always unable to write.. There seem to be many reasons. Deep in my mind, I was still afraid to see Li Qingzhao’s ” looking for” Qirong, ” miserable” eyes. If I don’t sink my heart into the bottomless night and into the great pain of the country’s broken home, if I want to get close to her, it’s absolutely impossible.. Therefore, he searched out Mr. Liu Naichang’s research articles and tasted the life track of the talented woman who made the Song Dynasty shine brilliantly.. Perhaps, I think, Liu’s works show that this goddess with tragic fate is more alive than I have written.     After Mr. Liu Naichang left Quyuan and transferred to the University of Arts, he probably had two communications. One of them was to write a graduation thesis. First, Xin Qiji, a poet from the Southern Song Dynasty, was chosen. After reading a large number of books, he felt like he had no idea and decided to write to Liu.. However, I don’t know Mr. Liu’s mailing address. After consulting the postal code, I took the liberty of writing a letter that now seems to be unknown. After I put it into the mailbox, I waited hard.. The anxious mood is like dating a strange late woman. One week, two weeks, three weeks, can no longer wait, so we have to turn to modern and contemporary literature. When the structure of the paper was roughly formed, the letter from Mr. Wang flew like a wild goose.. Both surprise and bitterness make it difficult to tell Mr. Wen about the paper, and the letter does not seem to need to be returned.. Every time I think of the words of encouragement from my husband, I always feel sour in my heart.     Mr. Liu Naichang is already dead. His voice, countenance and smile always appear in front of him, and his thoughts make people sad and choking.. Sir, I am a low-key man. There are very few published materials about his life. This teacher is like a cloud to fame and benefit from Xia Chengtao’s literary research.. He only knew about research, teaching and writing. Even if he had Alzheimer’s disease in his later years, his only memory was Song Ci.     ‘ Who moved the west wind to the painting fan, lightened the rouge and cooled the wrist of condensed fragrance”, the beauty of Song Ci is so beautiful that people are intoxicated. Back in the ancient Song Dynasty, when the blue shirt was long sleeved and the feather fan was black silk scarf, Yan Jidao was fresh and graceful, Li Qingzhao sighed with weak willows and wind, sang poems of mourning and indignation, and listened to the quaint songs. What kind of emotion was that! It is no wonder that Mr. Liu Naichang is free from vulgarity and free and easy in the Qing Dynasty, which is the essence of his reading of Song Ci.     Due to the compilation of various books, it is natural to quote some of Liu’s research results on song dynasty literature, and his heart often feels guilty.. I always want to listen to his teachings face to face again, and I’m afraid to disturb Mr. Qing Xiu’s life in his later years.. Sir, it’s sad to drive a crane. Gratitude has haunted me since then.     Think of a word in Li Qingzhao’s participation in breaking the regulations of Wun Xi Sha, saying, ” It’s better to rest on the pillow than to rest on the books” to break its meaning. It is Mr. Li Qingzhao’s knowledge of poetry and books that is ” resting on the place” to achieve a great state of life, so he has become a great leader in ancient literature research admired by the world..

I choose to work because work can make me feel safe. I chose to be single because I yearned for freedom. I choose friendship. I can find someone to accompany me when I am lonely, talk to me when I am tired, share it when I am happy, and have a shoulder when I am sad..   A long time ago, my friend told me she was getting engaged and asked me to go shopping for a party. When we arrived at the meeting place, we had a good chat.. We also like before, unbridled laughter, follow one’s inclinations of stop – and – go.     When we reached the door of a photo studio, we stopped unconsciously.     The wedding photos of various customs displayed in the window are striking, and the picture of the bride and groom embracing each other is even more enviable.. The pure and bright smile is enough to illuminate a sky; The silent look of love is enough to make you admire the beauty of marriage.     Perhaps there is a fairy tale of prince and princess in everyone’s heart: every boy wants to take the princess’s hand and walk into the palace of marriage; Every girl wants to put on a white wedding dress and start a new life with the prince. Of course, I am no exception as an ordinary girl.     But after staring for a minute, my heart quivered slightly: suddenly I felt this beautiful happiness vulnerable. Like glass, a touch of the fingertip will break into pieces.     If love and marriage have always been very happy, why are there so many quarrels? Why are there so many tears? Why is there betrayal? Break up? Even divorce?     I often feel that people’s pursuit is too good and life is too realistic.     For example, the happiness people pursue, she is too beautiful to be true. Mr. Lin Qingxuan once said,’ Happiness is like a lotus in water, which can appreciate her beautiful appearance from a distance, but there is no place for her to live in reality. For example, love, the ideal love is always a cup of sweet ice cream. But the real love is like a spilled five-flavor bottle, which is sweet, sour, bitter, spicy and salty.. Assan sang: Love is like an expensive window. We can only watch out for those who are demanding happiness..     My sixth sense tells me that maybe those wonderful things don’t belong to me at all.     Actually think about it: when people come to this world alone to start their own life, who can do it all the time?? Even if two people are together, they will be tired after a long time.     A person’s life will inevitably be lonely, but life will always continue.     I choose to work because it makes me feel safe. I chose to be single because I yearned for freedom. I choose friendship. I can find someone to accompany me when I am lonely, talk to me when I am tired, share it when I am happy, and have a shoulder when I am sad..     Such a life is like plain boiled water, but it has a faint happiness, which is enough.     Today, November 11, is the Singles Day for all the people. It’s an ordinary day for me.     In my world, whether alone or in pairs, happiness is good.[ Responsibility Editor: Yi Er[ Original ]

It was a hot summer day, and on a whim, I threw seven or eight articles that I thought I had written well.. In less than two hours, the editorial teacher gave a reply and was very touched by their efficiency and style of work.. It’s not the first time to submit a manuscript like this. Every time you submit a manuscript, you always want to hear some teachers’ teachings. Publishing is of course a good thing, indicating that the article is readable.. Look closely at the mail. I was excited to learn that the teacher was still doing a lot of criticism.. The teacher gave great encouragement and determination. One of them will be published in the next issue of the journal, and the rest will be returned in full.   Looking at the returned manuscript, I couldn’t bear to delete it all, so I read it carefully from beginning to end. These are all testimony of Hanshui in this summer! Finally, I finished watching the unforgettable 2009. The newly heal scar once again deeply stings that heart. Full of articles, the returned articles were deleted one by one and returned to the garbage disposal box..   The steps of autumn are as silent as those of spring. This is not, the flying leaves in mid-air are very beautiful, and let me have infinite reverie. I thought a few months had passed and I haven’t seen any news of the publication of the manuscript so far.. As a result, he dials the editor’s teacher’s phone in a nervous mood.. After hearing this, the teacher learned the details and said that another article was published in this journal. My heart was wondering if the manuscript had been rejected.. The manuscript from then on. After thanking the teacher in a hurry, he hastily opened the garbage disposal box, thinking never to delete it. There’s also the’ treasure’ I want!   Open the garbage collection bin, but luckily didn’t delete it and quickly restored it to its original appearance. But my eyes still touched the unforgettable 2009. I didn’t have any passion, some of which were deep in my heart.. The voice of a rock song outside our heart: The world we live in is a garbage dump…. It reminds me that the word ” garbage dump” does not apply equally to the field of writing. It reminds me that once I saw a publication called Yihai Picking Shells, it can be changed into a treasure hunt in garbage. And we are rich in garbage… Thought of here, I did not hesitate to export my manuscript from the garbage and quickly put it into the online column of prose. Because I understand that garbage and pearl jade coexist, garbage and pearl jade can also be transformed into each other. There is no eternal elite, only endless choices. Maybe I will lose my head, but this is an instant event.   On the autumn night, the solitary light accompanied me through the sea. Reminds me of the garbage in the dustbin a few days ago, and slowly opens up the space for prose that I only applied for soon.. After a few articles, I occasionally went online only to see if my poor three-digit click has made progress.. So tonight. A look at the click turned into a four-digit number, and I began to think my eyes were wrong and wondered in my heart.. As a result, I opened the contents of the space and scanned my eyes. I found that I picked up all the garbage from the garbage and clicked on it to highlight four digits. I didn’t want to open it for fear of hitting my allergic nerves.. So I went to see the excellent online recommended works of prose.   Every time I go into the prose recommendation column, I always benefit a lot from reading it and forget to return to it. This doesn’t just open a group of recommended works to catch your eye. I never imagined that I would be recycled from the garbage. Seeing the online click volume, I was very excited. A little tear rolled down the palm of my hand and tears rolled in the palm of my hand. It seemed to me that all kinds of waste plastic garbage in my life were processed to make a necessary living product for my life. Let me see as if the second oil field ( 1 ) tons of waste plastic can recycle at least 600 kilograms of gasoline and diesel oil. I seem to see 17 big trees not being cut down ( 1 ton of waste paper can recycle 700 kg of high-quality paper and cut 17 trees less ) )…..   At this time, I know more clearly that our children and grandchildren will live in forests and rivers for thousands of generations.!   And good works are like Brother Sharp picking you up and putting you in his mouth. At that moment, you are the treasure in his heart.!     On October 21, 2011, fifteen was 17

Life is beginning to move towards the end that I least want to see. Neither I nor my family or friends have been able to spend this September happily or even peacefully.. I was still the most evil decision maker: I was separated from each other and watched each other’s pain from a distance..   How can I describe this September to let you know my pain, how can I pretend to pass it off easily, and how can I simplify it to make you feel at a loss?.   From September 4th Daily to that day, my life began to fall into the ruins that could not be recovered, and I vacillated between studying again and choosing a specialty..   With what kind of mood? I don’t want to recall any more. Only vaguely felt that he had entered another era that was darker than re – reading, and what was more sad was that he was helpless about it..   I did something disappointing to everyone’s expectations. I made the worst decision when I was least supposed to make a decision. Then, it seemed that everything should end in frustration. However, why am I still so unwilling??   I repeatedly thought about my previous happiness and repeatedly told myself how good it was that nothing had happened. However, time rushed to 2005 and no one could change it..   That night I dreamt that my puppy was blossoming and suddenly felt so poor. Because, now I have the same situation as it.   Most of the time, I want to leave. Then, after studying hard for a year, I started my long-awaited life in Shencheng. I also want to call home countless times and tell mom what I think. Want to know, my mother is extremely cherish me, she always tolerant to tell me how can as long as you are happy.   But I didn’t. I think I’m already tired of it. I can’t go back to my senior high school classroom to pick up a pen and make a paper in a hurry. If I’m not in the mood, I won’t belong to you any more..   Then it seems natural and proper to comfort yourself, persuade yourself, live well and learn not to regret it..   However, sadness still seeps in my heart like spring water.   On the 21st of September, the 18th of the eighth lunar month, my 19th birthday. On that day, I made a decision that surprised everyone, including myself, to go home and study again.   Then call and tell family and friends about their own decisions. Many people are urging me that this is not a trivial matter to consider clearly. And all this did not shake the stubbornness that I had already prepared at the time..   On the same night, when my father had left home to meet me in Chongqing, I began to recall the last year’s life, those depressing days, the flying papers, the sarcastic eyes and sharp words of my classmates, and the unknown future, and suddenly I was afraid..   Two days later, my father came to pick me up and hurried all the way to school by the two-day train. Then I said I didn’t want to go back. He smiled and said, ” Whatever you want.”.   At that moment, I suddenly felt very clearly the love of my parents, so lenient that I didn’t care at all.   The next day, Dad was leaving. I sent him with a very calm expression, hoping to bring him relief, and at the same time, hoping to bring myself peace of mind..   However, I found myself wrong again. Even before his back disappeared, I had already fallen into a deeper level of regret. Life is like a beast of prey, biting my head doesn’t count, but swallowing my whole body.   That night I had a dream that I was a silkworm, struggling to see it through the cocoon, but suddenly stopped shaking.   I called many people to tell them how unsatisfied I am with life here and how much I want to leave. This is before. But now, the opportunity is missed again. No, I am willing to throw it away. Can I tell them that I am not happy??   cannot.   So, many times after the phone call from bin, I was laughing all the time. After all, friends, it is better to try to reassure each other.   Later, I simply thought that I would never call them again. No one, including my parents, would live quietly on their own, no matter how helpless they were..   I held up my hands like a captive to surrender to all this.   But I didn’t do it. I still returned to the original appearance, looking for family accommodation with a new face of children, and making bad things worse and worse..   Life began to move towards the end that I least wanted to see. Neither I nor my family or friends could enjoy this September nor even spend it peacefully.. I was still the most evil decision maker: I was separated from each other and watched each other’s pain from a distance..   Like a fallen flower, all the flowers that gradually bloomed in the depths of the heart in June, July and August fell in haste in this September..

Look at the time, dust-laden memories of the bottom of my heart, swirling in my memory, settling wounds hidden in my heart, but knowing it. Accustomed to walking in the text, I borrowed a plain note and strung all my thoughts together. Then, I piled up one text after another in the flat and level places.. Wen: The fence fell and the love met and separated. The beauty of the flower on the other side of the river brightened the pale time and locked a wandering heart for thousands of years while sleeping and laughing.. From then on, happy with your happiness, worried with your troubles, with the mournful beauty of missing, dancing lightly in the skirt, knowing that there is no future, but still dancing on the words alone, hoping to spin out the most beautiful dance, and become your deep thinking in your heart!     However, miss always lingers on such a night, traveling through tang style, passing through Song Yu, accompanied by a green light, repeating over and over again, remembering the little bit by bit about you, and telling the thoughts and cares one after another.! There is a gap in happiness that cannot be bridged. It can’t reach the end and can’t touch the real temperature bit by bit.. Fear, one day, no matter how to cherish, will not pull back a happy distance. From then on, it will be silence, and the world will no longer remember to ask each other again. Later, I will be left alone in this world of mortals with all the vicissitudes of life.!     That day, Na Yue, that year, this life. Memories are strung together, hiding behind time and counting the days we have passed. Shaohua is far away, willfulness is no longer, we are all gradually calm and mature. In the prime of the year, we did and treasured it. Spring and summer, autumn and winter, life is like a grand performance. When it comes to the end, people will always be scattered. The desolate time will not take away all our memories, and I believe I will accompany you through every wisp of time when you need it. You laugh, if you dream of floating, what we walked together outside Qian Shan is called forever.     The hourglass of time precipitates the past that cannot escape, and the hands of memory always pick up those beautiful sorrows. The wings of youth cut through the memory of pain; Yesterday’s tears stirred up ripples in my heart. When time has passed, when things are different, when feelings become tired, when the world is full of black, when experiences are said to be doomed, when life makes me regret. Entanglement is an endless reality that I cannot control and look at.     We are like two straight lines, but after crossing, we are gradually moving away. I think my feelings for you have long been disconsolate, but whenever I touch them, I miss them like lines without interruption.. It has been a few years since the song was finished with tears and fingers.. Looking back at a long distance, once close at hand, now the end of the world.     I look back at the deep feeling and weak water in my eyes, and the time in my imagination is warm like water, caressing your earnest thoughts and airing every sentence in the sun.. Like a long and long dream, between the ups and downs, your hair is on the line.. If the water calls gently, the distance will be wrapped lightly and the mind will never be broken.. In the eyes of the pro – lai, there are 3,000 years of acacia like water pouring into the world of mortals at this time, graceful and restrained, nimble, gentle and gentle, and light smile … Ah, through the beauty of the Japanese, a little bit of rendering, surging, like tide … shy; Standing at the end of May, listening to the purples of a flower, collecting it in the eyes of the wind and frost, and then going to the end of the world. It turns out that no matter how noisy the guests are, they will be alone in the end.. Looking back blankly, there are thousands of feelings, which has become a stranger to the world of mortals. Keep at the window of the fine carved window, pious hold a paper of gorgeous function words, not language, not hurt, straight stop spring grass flow rate.     This kind of infatuation, but always hurt, the third firework only got love for a lifetime, and how much affection did I have to give in exchange for true love. Wish to have one heart and one heart, and keep the white head together.     A song of Qing Dynasty, sung by strangers all over the world, has not yet been returned. A sleeve full of fragrance cannot smell back where the flowers bloom and fall. A cup of turbid wine, drink not finished laughing to start voice gradually disappear. A cavity away from hate, grief not past lives wounds of love.     The person who loves chi must have a dying heart, and this heart is fragile. May I write the words of the beautiful and snowy moon, and never touch the love that hurts my muscles and bones again. A person, a heart, wait all his life. A person, a city, love dearly all his life. A person travels, takes a strange road, looks at a strange scenery and listens to a strange song until one day you meet a person who loves each other and finally understands that all searching has a process. Once upon a time in the end of the world, now only at hand.     Miss locked me up. I’ve spent my whole life reading, coming like flying flowers and scattering like smoke..     Heart eyes, spare the lovesickness a wisp of sorrow.

Strange and strange, I, who always claimed to have a strong sense of direction, once I entered this city and arrived in this community, I turned to it and couldn’t distinguish the southeast from the northwest.. Nor is it true that there is no direction, but the direction I feel is different from the real direction. This difference is not the first time. This was the case at the end of last year in Qinhuangdao, Shijiazhuang. My east is always south, my west is always north, and the whole is 90 degrees out of place.. Unexpectedly, this situation continued to Chengdu. At first, the feeling was consistent with the direction, such as going out of the railway station, driving south, then west, then no north, south, west, east. If you go back to the city by bus, you will come back in the same direction. Can’t understand where the problem is. In the past, I lived in the countryside and never set the wrong direction.. In the city and countryside, the sense of direction suddenly changed, and the twist did not come back, causing trouble and irritation..     If you want to say what direction has to do with life, you can’t find out what. Into the room, south north south north don’t delay eating, sleeping and watching TV on the Internet. However, this difference in direction and feeling is constantly stirred in my mind. once I look outside the window, I will change direction – what south should be east, and the sun should rise from the east and fall from the west, so I correct it one by one: the wind is coming from the south, the rain is beating from the north, neon is built from the east, and the road is from the north to the south … the main consequence of the wrong direction is the awkward knot in my heart: why, even the direction is unclear? How, feeling suddenly lost on time? In turn, I doubt whether my other feelings, other thoughts and functions of language are still present, accurate and as sensitive as ever.. ” North” can’t be found. Can you still know South? I know I’m going to lose north and south after all, but now I can’t find the direction intermittently and feel suddenly lost.. It’s like saying that life and death are impermanent and one should be able to take care of them. If there is a judgment that you will leave tomorrow, one will never be so calm again..     The problem now is that from a rational point of view, I can find the direction. As soon as I go out, I will try my best to convert. Well, the south should be the west, and the gate should be opened to the west. The east should be south, and I went north and back to the south. In fact, I am still nervous under the appearance that nothing has happened, because my mind is extremely stubborn in sticking to what it thinks is the north and south, and does not cover up the ” illusion” that I used to have because of the good results I converted every day.. The trouble is that others can adjust quickly after the illusion is corrected, but I can’t do it. Last time in Qinhuangdao, Shijiazhuang, his companion said he also turned and turned 180 degrees, but after identification, he soon adjusted back and no longer misplaced. On the face of it, the shift of my mild symptoms did not change the original view from beginning to end.. How can one not worry if one is wrong and cannot be adjusted?!     Now, one of the reasons I can find is that I am stubborn in thinking. This is a problem that has been recognized by everyone for many years and also exists in introspection.. Once, because of my stubbornness, I offended leaders. At home, because of my persistence, I was often ridiculed’ criticized’ by comrades.. At work, my colleagues know this characteristic of me, and they are not willing to discuss with me’ flexibility’ on some major issues of principle. Of course, they will certainly talk about my rigidity behind them.. Although I have learned in recent years that some things are not what a person can insist on, I still insist on expressing something when I meet some individuals who specialize, just as rationality and sensibility cannot be unified in front of the direction.. Stubborn or persistent, I have as many advantages and disadvantages as I have.. The advantage is that more and more people trust and understand my consistent words and deeds. I am not abandoned because I stick to one idea and one belief, because my stubbornness is only for the benefit of most people, and my persistence is only a watch on the basis of tradition. My persistence has little gain in learning and writing: I often write my thoughts and feelings, enriching and enriching my spiritual world, and also getting many good friends with common interests and aspirations..     If you still want to find the reason, it is my adaptability. Perhaps, in my nature, I have more experience and brand of northwest village life. Only in the cool breeze and bright moon in the countryside can I find the exact stars in my life. All these changes are in the changing space of the city. Also, today’s cities are infinitely enlarged, roads are infinitely extended, buildings are identical, scenic spots have similar services, and there are few differences.. The navigation map printed in my mind or in my mind is still a few years ago in the countryside and in the earth. How can I adapt to such rapid changes?. People and things have their objects of adaptation. Facts have proved that my indications are in the land, not in the streets of the city. My ” north” must surely come back from my hometown.     If there are any objective reasons, it is that the roads in these places are not the’ positive’ roads that have existed through the ages. Such as the Forbidden City Tiananmen Square in Beijing and the Wild Goose Pagoda in Xi ‘an, which is just south and just north, it is difficult to get lost. However, there is no sense of heaven in other places. Their roads follow the shape of the landform and are connected by waterways. The south is also east, west and south, and north and west. Nature is not the direction of the north and south in the sense of the map.. Neither – what is not the direction of east Africa and west nor – what has never seen a sign here indicating southeast and northwest ( I understand, this is because it cannot be indicated ) can only rely on natural induction. Now I only complain about myself. I don’t have a magnet in my head. I quickly indicate the direction in every place..     Now I have only one choice: I know my sense of direction is wrong, and I know that things like ” north” can’t be found on the way forward. I can’t use my first feeling to confirm everything I see at present.. Therefore, adjust your thoughts, adjust your emotions, and adjust the uncomfortable feeling of being immersed in the illusion all day long.. Reality always teaches people mercilessly, knows oneself, knows the world, recognizes direction, and never stops.    July 23, 2013

Thirty years ago, my brother graduated from a senior technical school and was assigned to work as a material worker in a mechanic factory. As a material man, there is no shortage of anything in the family, and a big tile house will be built in three years. This sentence is no longer valid in my brother’s home. After getting married, my brother will pick up a small kitchen, ranging from timber, bricks and tiles to cement to a nail, all of which will be purchased from outside.. For this reason, everyone in the unit called brother fool. Which parents can tolerate outsiders insulting their son in public? Besides, the son is right. Is it stupid not to take advantage of the public?? Father flew into a rage, pointing to the man’s nose, and said, ” Since Pangu’s creation, there have been several people who have taken bribes and embezzled money and extorted grease from the people.? Not without retribution, the time has not come. What my father said was a prophecy. Thirty years later, my brother had already been transferred to work thousands of miles away from home. One day, several public security bureau members came to verify one thing, and investigated the discrepancy in his brother’s library of materials in detail. His brother’s factory director was exposed to corruption, planting something on his brother, and his brother took out a small notebook from which he had been discharging materials. It was clear and clear that the factory director’s rumor of framing his brother was not self – defeating, and even public security bureau investigators admired his brother..     Brother is really not simple. He can’t learn any technology from the materials staff. Later, the children of ordinary families will be the means to earn a living. He will take the initiative to study maintenance and distribution in the workshop … Ah, in a few years, he will become a famous technical authority in the local area. Now he is already a famous technical director in the machinery industry.. Brother Fool, what a fool?

On Sept. 3, 1983, our whole village children were gathered by a group of 17th and 8th graders. They decided to commit the crime collectively – stealing fruit from the orchard in Xinglongquan village, on the southeast side of Xinglongquan 2nd team and on the northwest side of Xinglongquan dam.. The so-called unruly into the badlands, we are hungry and greedy. After five years, this is the second time that our children in Dulezui have been collectively thieves since the last time they stole melons.. Because at that time, I was thinking about eating delicious fruit in the orchard. I sometimes miss the fruit when I go to take a bath during the day. It is very long for me to swim.. Where are you concerned about what self-cultivation and moral character? It was just that the fruit was too small to be delicious. But we know that there are many delicious apples, 123 apples, pears, hawthorns, fruit wine and so on.. This orchard is as tempting to our children as the heavenly queen’s flat peach garden. Or that sentence: the people regard food as the sky. So once someone starts singing and gives a shout to our arms, we immediately gather and support countless people.. This time, the newly-born child, Li Dabao, is determined to lead us to a bigger career to overcome the shame of the previous five-team melon – stealing fiasco.. He announced that he had committed a mass crime at 6: 30 p.m. on the night of September 5, when he would strike the clock of the production team and whoever did not go would be a coward in East Asia..     Good things don’t go out, bad things spread far and wide. There is no windtight wall. When we pass two or three stories about fruit stealing, we should call the children of Xinglong Spring Five to know. When they hear that they are going to the orchard to steal fruit, they are also grinding their fists and rubbing their hands and are eager to try it.. As a result, we were in cahoots with each other. That night, when the children in the village arrived together under the big elm trees at the east end of the village after dinner, there were as many as 40 dark fruit – stealing teams.. Even the two sons of the five teams of Li Guofu went with us. When we saw that they had also gone, we couldn’t hold back the joy.! This is a good thing! Even the fruit-watching children steal fruit. It’s really funny!     It’s about half an hour’s walk from our chariot to the orchard. It was dark when I left one day. It was full of dark clouds. The wind is chilly. But no one wants to be a coward in East Asia. These four words were so good at that time that no one wanted to be a coward in East Asia. At that time, only the production team in Quantun had a 14 – inch black-and-white TV set, which was playing Huo Yuanjia and Chen Zhen’s chivalrous actions.. Affected by their heroic image, children play together every day in a’ ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha’ battle. Who doesn’t want to be a big hero? Who is willing to be a cowardly and incompetent East Asian coward? I now think that if there were any more opium wars or Japanese invasion of China, there would be some men in northeast China who dared to meet with foreign devils on the battlefield.! Along the way, although we were cold and scared, we were all held down by the sense of honor of collective crime.     By the time we reached the orchard secretly at about seven o’clock, it was already raining. The whole night was dark and opaque. During the night, we jumped over the yard fence, the smaller ones climbed down the empty space, and everyone felt the fruit trees they were stealing along the previous memory.. Everyone quickly picked fruit in their own pockets. At this time also can’t consider what to imagine to steal what fruit! Is the strength of the pick! Pick it! The in the mind is both excited and nervous. I was eleven years old at that time, and my courage was quite large. I thought I could not say anything like that five years ago. Not only did I return empty – handed, but I also fell several times before.. I want to be a hero. I must not be a coward in East Asia. When picking fruit in my pocket, I thought I must be calm and quick with my hands and eyes. But all the worries were futile. Li Guofu and the other orchard watchers probably never expected us to steal fruit on such a dark night.. At this time, the rain has kept falling, and the more it falls, the greater it will be.. Gradually it turned into light rain. I knew it would have to rain heavily in a few minutes, so I picked it quickly.After more than 10 minutes, I feel I can’t steal any more. Other older children may also realize this. Just as I was going out of the hole, they also ran out in succession. I got out of the fence and scattered my feet and ran home. Then listen to everyone’s whistle rang. This is the signal of the wind tight pull shout. This is a timid child who cried out with nervousness and fear: ” Wait for me, wait for me.”! ‘ The shrill cries were so frightening in the dark night that I was too scared to look back and only wanted to run with the older children.. At this moment, the two adults were heard shouting angrily at the back: ” Fuck you, little brats, where are you going and where are you going?”! I told you to steal. I told you to steal! I killed you.! We were even more afraid of hearing the angry words we’ve seen, running all the way, and we don’t know how many fruits have been lost.! But all I remember is that I have a left arm that is tightly pressed against the mouth of the bag. Finally ran to the door, nervous heart plop plop, heart 1 vigorously quiver. The brain blood upwelling, for a while and a half will also calm down. Although I was narrowly missed and returned home victorious, I was still a little nervous and scared after all. After secretly resting outside the house for nearly 10 minutes, he hid the fruits of victory in a wooden pile in the yard and entered the house.     The next day, my heart was still tense. I was afraid that the fruit-watching adults would catch people at school. I was always very uneasy. I was scared and never went out of class, but no one came to catch us at all.. Later, after much inquiry, I realized that the two boys caught were Li Guofu’s two sons. Everyone said, this is really funny! I don’t know what it would be like for Li Guofu, the old guy, to seize his son and steal fruit.! Later we asked the boys how they were caught? The two boys said they didn’t go so fast because they weren’t afraid of being caught.. As a result, he was kicked by his father, and only when he heard them shout at him did he know it was them. They said his father was angry! Originally wanted to catch two typical cases, who knew he had caught his son! Also how to catch others! It’s really tortoise drilling the kitchen pit, suffocating and annoyed! After listening to this, we also can’t hold back the joy!     Children, when you see my article, you will cherish today’s happy life? I have never seen a big apple before I was twelve years old, not to mention eating it! What about you?? Maybe when I was twelve years old, big apples were not rare to eat!

Of the seven colors, red, orange, yellow, green, blue and purple, my favorite color is blue. Because blue is closest to the year I was born and the environment in which I grew up. Yes, I was born in the most beautiful autumn, and the most beautiful background color in autumn is blue. Especially in mid-autumn and late autumn, the wind is fine and the clouds are light, the sky is very distant and clear, and life is standing in the middle of the years, whether looking at stars or looking at the moon, giving people a calm, broad and wide-ranging breath..     Maybe it was destined to live in company with blue, or maybe it was due to my personal temperament and hobby. When I stood on the seawall for the first time and looked out into the sea under the sunshine, my heart naturally rose and sang softly: the sunrise was red in the river and the fire was red in the fire, and the spring came green as blue in the river.. This is not a poem left by Tang dynasty fu si Bai juyi? A blue word undoubtedly brings the poet’s mind, temperament, ambition and aesthetic concept to the public. Every time I think of it, I will undoubtedly make my life image world more comforting and reverie from nature, less sadness and helplessness brought by the secular world.. Yes, everyone still has everything in the face of the real world, which always fills my heart with melancholy and confusion, struggle and distress. It is blue that makes me find the station where life stops, thus releasing or more precisely returning to the beginning of life: peace and serenity!     To be honest, I like all the blue in the heavens and the earth, whether it’s heaven or earth, as long as it’s blue, I like it.. No matter what form or appearance it takes. For example, if there is a song or a song, it will make my mind longing to forget the troubles brought by the past smoke clouds. Take Strauss’s waltz, the blue danube, for example. as long as the movement rings in life, my heart and my spirit will flow gently with the notes, especially in the last part of the swing, the mind seems to suddenly open and the haze of the years will disappear. what is presented at present is a beautiful picture of blue sky and downwind grass in the sky that is pleasant to see cattle and sheep.. Every time at this moment, the restrained life in life is like meeting an old friend who has reunited after a long separation. I am afraid the main reason why I like quiet temperament is that blue makes my life drunk, makes my emotions swirl and makes my thoughts jump out of the barriers of reality and kindle the flame of hope.. I can’t remember that I said in the text that red is too prickly, black is too dark, purple is too light and so on, but blue is light and distant, making people calm and not losing imagination.. Especially in the autumn season, when the sky is far from the sky and the yellow leaves are flying, the blue sky of that day is like a shadow, which shows the poetic flavor of life immediately.! If I meet such a beautiful scene, I think if I were a poet, I would not spare my feelings and express the waves in my heart with the strongest pen and ink. Like the great poet Zhang Ruoxu, I would blend the scenes of the spring river and the moonlit night perfectly.! It’s a pity that I only learned little. I have neither that knowledge nor the high degree of autonomy of life nor the Buddha’s pen. all I can do is sit quietly and comfortably in the window bar or in a corner of the old house to watch the heaven and earth well, and at best, hold the ying ying scroll in my hand to calm the ebb and flow of a song in my heart.!     This may be the biggest reason why I advocate blue, love blue and indulge in blue, or it may be due to my personality, habits and hobbies.. Want to know, there are too many uncertain factors in life, what you like or don’t like is not a matter of fact, sometimes it’s nature, sometimes it’s fate, and sometimes it’s so puzzling that you can’t find any trace of what you like or don’t like.. Of course, if you must go after it, even if it is snow mud and claw, you can still find some clues. But it is not worth doing so, and it loses its original meaning, isn’t it? As a song sings, love is love. Don’t look for excuses. Something in your heart is a feeling. Don’t say it. Once you say it, what you leave behind is not sweet aftertaste but bitterness and indignation.. That’s what I love about blue, or rather, it’s meant to be. Since I love it, I’m drunk. I love it naturally and completely without complaint or regret.. What’s more, there is a blue color in my personality, blue thoughts and blue reveries, and even the feelings that have been immersed for a long time are accompanied by blue mist to help me dream blue dreams at blue night.!     Speaking of dreams, in fact, I can tell you frankly that it is simple and transparent, but it is large enough as the sky, sky, blue sea and ocean, or simply a quiet Walden Lake.. Life here is enough to make people relaxed and happy, especially when it comes to the autumn season when the difference is clear, the dream is blue like fog, like rain and like wind.! To be honest, I like the quiet and quiet feeling surrounded by blue, because life or years have such details to do the keynote, naturally holding up the wings of life, the heart will dance with the moving rhythm, and moreover, there are books and pure blue magic coffee.!     So, I still said that, whether it be the blue of the background color or the blue of things, or the blue or blue poem in memory or the blue song with sexy, I would like to see a blooming blue demon Ji, put it on the window bar and pillow to enjoy the ponder, and life inadvertently passes through the black hair and the dribs and drabs of life, thus making the days sky high and the clouds light and breaking the South Flying Goose.. Of course, if you still feel wanting, you can choose to go to the west tower on the night when the moon is full of stars and play a tune with an eight-foot flute. I think it will surely attract a butterfly that dreams and tell you ancient legends and timeless classics.!     Blue in life, blue like starry sky and blue like clayderman’s piano music help life leap over Qian Shan’s waters until it reaches the other side of the dream! Dreams are blue, coupled with a dreamlike song that makes people calm. In this way, life will surely make the heart go away with the pace of time.!